What Does It Take to be Good Parents? Essay

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I am Chong Cia Ling, the founder of Brainy Montessori. I am so grateful to pro ache such an honour standing here to deliver my speech entitled What does it contain to be good produces?. I am sure all the pargonnts here pull up stakes agree with me that existence p bents is tough. Bringing up tiddlerren is a very difficult task. Everyone wishes to be good p arents. However, near clippings we could be so discouraged and secondless when we sire the feedback that we are non good parents although we birth done our upmost to post the best for our nestlingren. What is the cause of that? Today, let us define how to be good parents together. A parent is verbalise to be a good parent only after coning how he has brought up his kidskinren. They should down up the children in a very good chasten. However, we need to bear in thinker that discipline does not mean that they draw to punish their children for every wrong doing. Recently there i s a renowned video of a Texas judge hitting his teenage daughter repeatedly with a belt. This father warrant his deportions as discipline. I beg to differ. According to the video, the father is not disciplining his daughter.He is engaging in an act of penalization intent on hurting, humiliating and controlling her Well, it is common that children do mistakes. Yet, what a good parent essential do is he has to ascertain him how to differentiate what is good and what is bad. We need to understand that giving punishment especially physical punishment will not help children in a way rather it will create new problems. Indeed, it hurts. For instance, children will blend in rebellious as they have already got use to the corporal punishment. Eventually, they will soften hatred towards their parents. Deborah Sendek (2011) in like manner claims that physical punishment is ineffective in parenting. It brook easily escalate and cross the line to abuse and serious injury, particularly when an instrument is used. Children proceed ablazely alienated from parent who hits them frequently.Research similarly shows that physical punishment makes it more likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future. These research findings have been endorsed by many prominent organizations, including the Ameri stand academy of Pediatrics, the Ameri mountain Medical Association, Voices for Americas Children, the National PTA, and the International Society for Prevention of Child sophisticate and Neglect that advocate against corporal punishment. We cannot deny that children need guidance and discipline but what works? strongdiscipline helps a child to develop self-control by teaching, guiding, modeling and explaining what is wrong and what to do instead. legal discipline starts with our attitudes ab bug out children and their behaviour. Redirection, discipline or punishment must include an explanation of why a behavior is unacceptable and what behavior is expe cted. Many terms a childs misbehavior is a mistake in judgment. In contrast, we hope our own mistakes serve as learning opportunities.We need to halt this same rule to children. We must curb our anger and allow time to think nigh what we emergency to teach. Positive and proactive discipline strategies work from toddlers to teenagers. In todays society, parents always have no time for children and thus, they hire maids to take care of children and bind them what they want. In this way, parents feel that they have fulfilled their work but it is not true According to Duncan, making a child feel cherished is the wholeness most important quality of an effective parent. It is also proved that in child development, kids who feel enjoy and cherished thrive. Duncan recommends spending time with your children doing what she wants to do. Every child needs to feel a sense of love and parents must love wisely. For theoretical account, play your child favourite game and read together. Be sides, parents should be like friends to their children.They have to discuss everything and spend quality time with children. Only if and so, children can feel the parental love. When children go to give instruction they will see so many others parents. They should not a get a touch perception that their parents are not taking care of them as his friends. Eventually, they will feel rejected and low self-esteem. In this case, parents must be very careful. However, we as parents need to note that every child is unique so it takes a different approach for that child to feel seen and loved. The hard work for us as parents is judge who our child is and cherishing her for being that person, even go guiding behaviour. Parents need to use a positive crystalline lens and celebrate every step in the right direction. One of the ways is to show affection finished warm words and physical touch. You will have no idea how a gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or ev en a smile can go a long way to boost the confidence and hale-being of your children. For instance, when you must correct a child, do it in love. It can avoid criticism and blaming. It is important to avoid using negative vocabulary like bad because your child whitethorn internalize the label, thinking she is unacceptableinstead of vindicatory the behaviour.When you love your child wisely, she will learn and love you back. When your child fail the test, analyse the reasons of failing the test with her, encourage her to try harder next time instead of scolding, blaming and hitting. Good parenting is much more than just teaching your children right and wrong, good or bad. It is also about consider. I am not talking about your children necessarily levering you. It is about you having gaze for them, particularly for their retirement. Always bear in mind that children also have human right. Give them a chance to voice their opinions, listen to their suggestions and give them some f reedom. In fact, parents need to respect childrens privacy as you would want them to respect yours. For example, if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. quit to feel that once they enter their room they can subsist that no one will wait through their drawers or read their diary.By respecting your children, they will be more open and respect you. As children hit adolescence they invariably begin to separate from their parents as a natural part of emergence up. Ironically, it is also a time when parents have mentions about their son or daughters precaution as they venture out more into the world on their own. Undeniably, this is quite a difficult time for most parents. It is a time of change, a time of testing. On one hand you are cross because your child is not as limiting as they once were and you keep pushing and pushing to get it on more about what going on in their life. You cannot be close, yet you need to b e close to keep them safe. Balancing your desire to know all the details with your childrens right for privacy and the respect implied when you acknowledge that right, is a very tricky feat to accomplish indeed. However, it is a balancing act that is well up worth the effort, especially for those of you who want to be the best parents that you can be.Thus, parents need to bear in mind not to be nosy parents. Do not dig around your teenagers belongings. never try to listen in conversations and avoid trying to keep children away from friends or activities out of enmity to try to keep them safe. Of course as parents we have to be cautious and watchful but we must use common sense also and give them room to grow, the last thing we want to do is drive our children away from us. Remember what is like for a young boy or girl to be entering that stage in life where new feelings and experiences are happening to them on a unremarkable occurrence. On the other hands, goodparents must be fle xible. Having standards does not mean you are rigid. As your child grows from infant to toddler to teen, her needs change along with her body. Kids Health reports that parents should not compare one child to another.Parents nowa days tend to compare their childrens behaviour or go on with other children of the same age. Indeed, they are causing stress for themselves and their children. Comparing your children with others is an ultimately useless activity I understand that it is hard to elude as we tend to assess our progress in any area of life by checking out how we compare with our peers. But come to think of it, when you were a child in school, you probably compared yourself to your schoolmates. Your teachers whitethorn not have graded you nut you knew who the smart kids were and were you ranked in the packing order. Now that you have kids of your own, do you still keep an eye on your peers? Do you use progress and behaviour of their kids as benchmarks to help you assess your o wn performance as well as your childs progress? Children develop at different rates. There are early developers, slow bloomers and steady-as-you-go children in every group. So, analyze your childs results or performance can be entirely unrealistic. What does this mean to you? Focus on your childs improvement and effort. Use your childs results as the benchmark for his or her progress and development.You can tell your child like thisYour spelling is better today than it was a few days ago instead of getting frustrated at them for not able to score as well as other children. Encourage them to take a step at a time they will grow up as a fine man one day. Parents, give your child some time. They need you in this learning journey. Besides, children have different talents, interests and strengths. Well, your eight years old child may not be able to ride a bicycle even though your neighbours child can. Avoid comparing the two as your child may not care about bicycle anyway. At this poin t of time, you as a parent should help your child to identify his or her own talents or interests and help them to be exceled in it. Recognize that his or her strengths and interests may be completely different to those of his peers or siblings. Sometimes parents can have unrealistic expectations for their children. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but they may not be in line with their interests and talents. Thus, parents need to keep your expectations for success in line with their abilities and interests.If expectations are too high, kids willgive up. If they are too low, they will usually meet them Parents should take experience in their childrens performance at school, sport or leisure activities. You should also celebrate their achievements and milestones, such as taking their first steps, scoring their first goal in a game or getting great marks at school. In addition, rules should shift to match the age, needs and development of your children. For instant, you ma jor power expect a child of two to throw temper tantrum but not a teen. An effective parent takes cues from her child, whether an infants cry or a teenagers moods to know what will work best in a particular situation. So parents, stay tuned to your childs evolving needs by keeping involved in her life. Furthermore, parents need to teach emotional intelligence to child. For instance, you teach your child to self-soothe. According to research, little ones do not learn to self-soothe by being left to cry. That just creates an over-active amygdala and panic response later in life. While soothing is a physiological process.For instance, when a baby cries and we soothe him, his body responds by sending out oxytocin and other soothing biochemicals. What you see is that he calms down and later he develops the ability to soothe himself when he is upset. Parents also can give them the message that their full range of feelings is understandable, even while their actions must be limited. Upmost , parents need to listen to them when they have feelings to express. Occasionally this will take the form of words, and it helps to give children kind words for their feelings Youre so wan but more often, children just need us to give them the safety of our loving presence while they cry or rage to vent their feelings. Often they will not be able to explicate what they are upset about, and it is not necessary. However, this helps children to learn to accept and process their emotions, so they can move past(a) them rather than having to act on them. What does acting out mean? We act on our feelings rather than just tolerating them as they sweep through us and dissipate. While you are teaching your child about emotional intelligence, you need to set as a good example too. If you are easily lose tempered, then you cannot blame of your children of throwing temper.They are learning from you Sometime your emotional unstableness will affect the development of your child. never argue wi th your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Modern divorce rates have children feeling insecure and fearfulwhen they hear parents bickering. Eventually, children will learn to argue with each other and become a hot tempered person. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully. Most of the children will get disappointed when their parents gave empty promise. There are so many cases whereby children do not even conceptualize a single word that their parents said because the parents never put those promises in heart. Please imagine the feeling when someone that you trust and admire most always gives you a false hope. How you need to react? totally of you are adults so you may know how to deal with it but hold on, how about our little children? They can be so disappointed, helpless, frustrated and even fall into depression Some may even become rebellious as they thinking the parents are keep giving excuses of unab le to fulfill the promises and never concern about their feelings. So, parents, you should do as what you have promisedLastly, every parent should accept the truth that everyone is not perfect. Dr. Sears also reminds parents that it is fine to be imperfect as long as you set a good example most of the time. You may did some mistake in bringing up your child. It is not an unforgiving mistake. picture the lesson and apologise to your child if it is necessary. All in all, in any case, even the most effective parents cannot genetical traits or the outside environment. Trust your instincts as parents but dont confuse effective parenting with perfection. arrange showing love and flexibility towards yourself, as well as towards your children. Before I end my speech, I would like to wish all the parents the best in this journey of parenthood. Thank you for listening.ReferencesDeborah Sendek. (2011). Physical Punishment Doesnt help, It Hurts. Retrieved from http//edition.cnn.com/2011/11/0 9/opinion/sendek-corporalpunishment/index.htmlDont Compare Your Kids to Others. Retrieved fromhttp//mums.bodyandsoul.com.au/pregnancy+parenting/parenting+tips/dont+compare+your+kids+to+others,9385Respecting and Giving Kids Their Privacy. Retrieved fromhttp//www.more4kids.info/632/respecting-kids-privacy/